Jamy Fisher: Weakness

But he said to me,

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses….”

2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

Weakness. This is not how I wanted to start a blog post on running. I kept hoping for some great momentous victory to launch a great inspirational post. In the last couple of frustrating months I’ve learned that what God is teaching me through running is about weakness. Truly. Stinks.

I wanted to open a blog post on running with a verse like Psalm 18:29, “With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.” Maybe something about strength, giant-slaying, victory. I woulda totally given all the credit to God and secretly hoped I could look amazing too.

But no, this is the lesson for me. Maybe you need to go on this trip too.

“But he replied, "My kindness is all you need. My power is strongest when you are weak."
So if Christ keeps giving me his power, I will gladly brag about how weak I am. Yes, I am glad to be weak or insulted or mistreated or to have troubles and sufferings, if it is for Christ.
Because when I am weak, I am strong.”

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 CEV

Here's my boasting about running:

I am not fast.
I am not strong.
I am not beautiful.
I am not improving.

I started running (sorta) last August. My husband is a runner and has been for about five years. When people would ask me if I was a runner I used to answer them with this doozy, “The only way you will ever see me running is if I am being chased….by someone….with a knife.” But then he decided to run his first marathon at Disneyworld. And by the way, they have a family 5K a couple of days before the marathon…..you wanna? So, attempting to be supportive, I committed along with our older two kids. To train we would do my husband’s version of Couch25K around the mile loop in our neighborhood. As we walk/ran I could not imagine ever, not ever, ever making it 3 miles. But, I began to run by myself a couple of times a week. I mapped out a 2 mile course in my neighborhood and didn’t tell anyone I was doing it because I didn’t think I could. I really was curious about running, it has made such a huge impact in my husband's life especially and I wanted to give it a try.....really I wanted to conquer it easily.

I began to run my loop a couple of times a week….and I struggled.

It took me a couple of months to get to 2 miles….and I struggled.

I ran the 5K distance once a couple of weeks before our trip....and I struggled.

I came back after watching my husband and friends conquer a marathon all ready to become a real runner. I set myself a training schedule....and I struggled.

For some of you reading this, you are flipping into rescue mode right about now either because you love running or you love me. Don't do it! I'm writing this because of what I learn here in this bit of discouragement. There are a lot of things I love about running [and I'll blog about those sometime...maybe], but honestly it makes me feel weak. Weak like nothing else has in a long time. I've been really bugged by this and have spent the last months fighting it and trying to fix it. Once when I was complaining about running and comparing myself to some other faster and stronger girls; my husband said, “Well, honey those girls are a lot younger than you and were athletes in high school….” It really wasn’t his fault, he was trying to be encouraging and I totally forced him into that corner. That's how hard I was working in "fix-it" mode.

Then in my Bible Study along comes a week about thorns and weakness and other things I hate. I realized that for me, running isn’t about becoming strong. For me, running is about shedding my pride and the comparison game and smiling at my weakness. I PROMISE, this is not something you will ever read in a running magazine [seriously I just snorted imagining that headline]. God might teach this to you in a different way, but it's time to park here. To feel weak means I am dependent and needy. I don’t have to be afraid of that, I just need to aim it in the right direction. If I believe what the Bible teaches, then I must believe that when I take my weakness to a loving Creator He transforms it into strength. Every time I run, EVERY TIME, there are moments when I feel only weak. [I even wrote about that here.] And that’s OK because He is only strong, He teaches me and encourages me and strengthens me EVERY TIME! And the thing is, I have given my life to tell the truth about His. Weakness (Running, for me) helps me do that.

This is a screenshot from my phone - important because it's my longest run ever.

To this day, I have never run much farther than 3 miles (Oh, how it pains me to admit). I run 1 ½ - 2 miles three times a week. I don’t run fast or pretty, but I do run consistently.

By the way, I did find this verse from the Hall of Faith Folks in Hebrews 11:34 which describes many men and women of faith … “whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle…”

I still hope to have a "Psalm 18:29" running post in my future; but for now my greatest hope is that my lessons about strength and weakness and running are all preparing me for real life battles. Maybe they've encouraged you to take a new look at weakness in your own life. Because on the other side is always strength.