On the Couch

Some people I love had a big huge devastating loss recently.

{You know your people are hurting when you choose the color of your lipstick based on the the color of the marks it will leave on cheeks and foreheads of the people you’ll be kissing as you grieve and comfort together}….yeah, that.

As the first waves crashed and started to subside we met up in a living room. In a situation where there are no words we just hugged and cried. The sweet one we were comforting was sitting on the couch and so that’s where we all ended up. I remember trying to reach around and embrace or touch all the precious ones there. It occurred to me later that night that we were like a giant Twister game gone wrong….arms and elbows and knees entangled and hands messing up hair as they tried to reach, tried to comfort. As others came we tried to make room; but all just ended up piled up together on the couch.

In the last week;

• Love and support has been shared.
• Family has been strengthened.
• Secrets completely apart from the situation have been exposed to healing light.
• Unrelated lies decades old have been crushed beneath Truth.
• Perspective has been challenged. Somehow the little peevish issues you had with a brother or sister at church don’t seem to matter as much…..

Good stuff {Romans 8:28 with feet on kind of goodness} is happening already.

Yet the truly hard work is just beginning, and it’s not so comforting to be told that your loss is someone else’s gain…..at least not at first.

Comfort doesn’t come through spiritual platitudes however well meaning they are; it starts from the Couch…..from sharing life and sorrow and pain and genuine “I don’t know whys” with a generous amount of “it ought not bes” and more present silence than you think you can tolerate.

Listen people. We are not doubting God’s sovereignty when we get all up in someone’s pain and feel it and hate it as it crashes over them! There’s no spiritual glory in loving the pain for the pain’s sake. God doesn’t do that, why should we? (See more about God's heart for your pain in Lamentations 3:33)

Now don’t misunderstand, difficulty is without question part of God’s plan for each of us and sometimes it comes through painful loss. But pain is not the hero, God is. The glory is His alone. The glory comes only when we choose to keep walking with God, trusting and acknowledging His character when our circumstances scream against His goodness. 

When it’s yours to walk through; His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9). 

When it’s yours to walk alongside; learn to comfort well (2 Corinthians 1:3-7).

One of my friends has been sharing 1 Peter 5 with us this week; “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 NIV

Yes, do that.

“And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace [Who imparts all blessing and favor], Who has called you to His [own] eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you.” 1 Peter 5:10, AMP

Yes. Let Him do that.

The end of 1 Peter 5 in the Amplified says, “Amen (so be it).”

Until Jesus returns or calls us home speaking HIS Amen on our lives, let’s spend the time we need to on the couch. Then let’s be up and about together; believing and serving and loving one another in real life.

Jesus. So Be It.