Life.
I really want to get it right.
Not wasted.
Not wandering.
Worthwhile.
The
word Life
in the New Testament is one of my favorites. It means “life, referring to the principle of life in the spirit and soul.”
It’s different from physical life. It’s the inner you, the part that lives and
struggles so often in secret. The second part of the definition for inner life
is mind-blowing to me. It expresses “all
of the highest and best which Christ is and which He gives to the
saints…” (Spiros
Zodhiates, The Complete Word Study New Testament, page 919).
Inner
LIFE matters because it is where we first experience and reflect the Truth of
Jesus. It’s where we receive His best gifts. Jesus-looking life on the outside
has to first be experienced in the Inner Life – or it’s just wasted religion. This is
my theme.
Over
the past weekend I gathered at a beautiful cabin with a whole bunch of women.
We were studying this idea. What does real life look like? How can we live a
life that really matters?
Life
can be so ordinarily draining. Do you ever feel like you can handle a crisis
better than the monotony of everyday-ness? And while I jokingly teased about
things I’m afraid of {a ridiculous
conversation that included footie pajamas and clowns and should forever be
filed under “you had to be there”}…the truth is that what I’m most afraid
of is getting to the end of my life having wasted it. I dread being deceived
into just enduring my life, being burdened down to the point that I merely
survive it.
Our
theme verse taught us to lay the “firm
foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is
truly life.” 1 Timothy 6:19
In
verses 12 and 19 we are told to "take hold of life." Which is a great idea until
you try to do it and realize that your hands are already full.
Could
it be that we can’t take hold of the inner life that we were created for because our hands are so full of junk? That "highest and best which Christ is" kind of life gets dumped in favor of what?….. {bitterness,
control, fear, busyness, misunderstanding, bargaining, panic}.
There
is a whisper that I often hear over my inner life.
It has filled my head and hands for too long.
It has filled my head and hands for too long.
You’re not enough.
For
many reasons, both real and imagined, I’ve lost ground to this whisper, which
has at times been a shout. So I practice what I preach – and speak Truth over
this lie, focus on my blessings, beg God for a new perspective….which usually
lands me feeling guilty for complaining when there are so many people who
really have reason to struggle. Does anyone hear me here?
But
honestly, we all struggle. We do. It’s the life that kills LIFE. As I prepared
to teach I was pushing through my insecurities and guilt trying to find a way
to articulate what it means to “take hold
of life that is truly life,” and was getting nowhere.
Until
I saw this cross-reference from Philippians 2:7:
“Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God,
did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,
but emptied himself,
by taking the form of a servant,
being born in the likeness of men.”
did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,
but emptied himself,
by taking the form of a servant,
being born in the likeness of men.”
I am to take
hold of Life, because Jesus took hold of me….
He took on human-ness, me.
He took on human-ness, me.
And
as I considered how hard I was trying to be enough and take hold of life…I
realized something big.
I’m
not
enough.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I’d
been fighting what I thought was a lie, but it’s just flat true. On my own I am
not enough, I don’t have it in me to take hold of true eternal life. God knows that. And
centuries before I was born He thought enough of me to make a way. Jesus, who
already had Life, who WAS Life – took hold of me, so that I could take hold of
Him. He gave me all the highest and best that He is.
How. Why?
It's a miracle.
One that I daily minimize with my own wasted efforts.
How. Why?
It's a miracle.
One that I daily minimize with my own wasted efforts.
- Efforts to lose weight and manage my schedule,
- To write more, and reach out to more college students,
- To train up my children,
- and be a blessing to our parents,
- and be the best friend,
- and the perfect pastor’s wife…never enough.
I
was overwhelmed to see anew that there is one place where I am enough just as I
am. Broken and worn out and Inside-Out Ugly; full of the insecurity and
brokenness of selfish failed efforts and the comparison that feeds them. There is one place I am enough, and
it’s in the grip of Jesus, who took hold of me. I am not enough for my husband,
children, ministry, family, friends. I am enough for Jesus because though He was
already the fullness of Life on His own, complete and whole, needing nothing
from me; He simply chose me, and I am enough for Him. When I accept that and tuck into it and walk in it, my efforts are transformed and my life becomes something beautiful and influential and well-spent.
Back
to retreat, as we shared and walked through these verses together I challenged
the women to write down one or two things keeping them from having open hands
to take hold of life that’s truly life.
 |
The
windows slowly were filled with sticky notes representing the Not Enough-ness
and fear and addictions we were letting go…so that we could freely Take Hold of
Life.
As "The Struggle" by Tenth Avenue North played, we resolved to empty our hands.
So join us.
Drop the efforts that are draining you and take hold of Life.
Jesus.
So join us.
Drop the efforts that are draining you and take hold of Life.
Jesus.
“Hallelujah we are free
to struggle,
we’re not struggling to
be free.
Your blood bought and
makes us children.
Children drop your chains
and sing.”
“How? you ask.
In Christ.
God put the wrong on him who
never did anything wrong,
so we could be put right with
God.”
2 Corinthians 5:21 MSG
