Fearful Kids

Here are some verses to pray over and with your children when they are afraid....

"Do not be afraid, for I am with you..." Isaiah 43:5

"Don’t be afraid; just believe.” Mark 5:36

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7 ESV

"They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord." Psalm 112:7

When my older children were babies I had a Scripture CD that I played in their bedrooms at night. One of the songs was based on Psalm 56:3, "When I am afraid, I will trust in You...." I remember trying to backward tiptoe out of the nursery while this song played. In the toddler and preschool years that followed I could silence my children's fears with my protective efforts. But they are old enough now to know that I can't always protect them and my platitudes of "it won't happen...." just don't ring true. There has to be more to comfort them and protect them. I have felt the frustration as every coping mechanism and Truthful word and comforting touch I offer bounces off of my child's fear as if she were wearing immovable armor and I was tossing handfuls of cotton candy.

With the tornado devastation so near us this week, and the recent repeating stories of shootings and violence against young women and children; fear is creeping in again. I expected it to hit hard yesterday as we watched the hour by hour coverage of the tornadoes in Moore. I tried to give my husband code signals to change the channel as they began to broadcast the horrible reality that children had died; unsafe in their school {which is THE big fear for one of my kids}. My husband missed my cues, but my child didn't simply saying, "It's ok Mom, you don't have to hide it from me." Later I wondered why it was better and easier this time....why this child was able to go to sleep....why the only tears shed were my own as I tucked in three children safe and sound in their beds.  

Had she simply finally outgrown her fears? Partially. But then I remembered that a couple of months ago, this child and I figured out a way to study and share God's words together. For the last several weeks God's Words have been read and considered daily by this young heart and so when fear struck she was better able to deal with it; maybe for the first time.

I realized this Truth, the day to prepare your child to battle fear is not on the day of crisis; but in the everyday discipline and habit of hearing and believing God.

That little stack of books on her bedside table are the guides and God is both her destination and her traveling companion. I want to be one of the ones pointing her to Him both in the way I live and the way I encourage her. As you and I are figuring out how to parent our children through such difficult loss and unanswerable questions; we need wisdom. 

So, I will say "I don't know why." I will be patient.  I will creatively point my children to the right belief and thoughts on easy days. And on crisis days I will be honest and vulnerable and present in their grief and my own and our neighbors'. I will serve and believe the best in people, including my kids. I will start there and continue there, and I will be thankful and "When I am afraid, I will trust in You...."