Dumbstruck at Falls Creek

I love Falls Creek.

I've loved it since the summer I finished 7th grade and was finally allowed to go to church camp there. Those were the days of no shorts, no AC, loooooOOOOng services, theme songs, gum tree walks to the Devil's bathtub {now that I'm grown I have no idea how gobs of students didn't die every day on the old route to the Devil's Bathtub}, Bible Study pavilions, and amazing wonderful weeks. I have lots of memories from being a camper to being a young sponsor, to being an older sponsor, to being a Camp Pastor's Wife this year. My husband was asked to preach for Youth Falls Creek so I've been full of all kinds of sentimental recollections.  This year, we rode around in a golf cart {which also means I can never go back, because Falls Creek without a golf cart after you've had one must be super depressing} and told our kids stories about all the places we'd stayed and all the things that have happened here and there. 

This Icee Hut hasn't changed much.....it even still smells the same.
Have I mentioned that I love Falls Creek?

When I was growing up our youth pastor made Falls Creek amazing. If the songs were long and cheesy he would make up new words for them.  To this day, "Lead On O King Eternal" is ruined for me {Lead On O Kinky Turtle, oops sorry now it's ruined for you too....read on quickly before it sticks in your brain}. He went with us to play and hike in the afternoons and taught us Truth during our cabin times leading us in worship and in the Word refusing to let us fall into adolescent emotionalism that was not beneficial.  He challenged us and had fun with us. It's amazing to be able to correct and instruct teenagers while still making room for them to find attachment to you. 

This place is where I first thought God might be leading me to some type of ministry.  I remember walking the aisle and finding myself in a counseling room with a bunch of students....I was paired up with an adult and an older youth. As the adult asked us questions trying to determine why we were there I didn't know how to answer.  The girl across from me said, "I don't know, I just know that I want to give God more...all of me."  When I was growing up there were three decisions you could make at the end of a Falls Creek sermon and she and I didn't really fit into these categories.  I was squirming with discomfort until she answered and my whole little teenaged spirit agreed with an inside out YES!  When I left that room by myself one of the older girls in our youth group was waiting for me.  We walked together toward the cabin right behind the tabernacle.  In the old days there were metal stairs that went behind this cabin toward the creek and our cabin.  She sat with me there and listened and encouraged and prayed for me. 

This picture is that very special spot today.

Figuring out what ministry would look like for me was not an instant understanding.  I felt like I could either be a missionary or a minister's wife.....so I went with missionary {Yes, enter chuckle now}.   It took lots of years and lots of failures and lots of seeking and a huge humbling process for God to bring me to exactly how and where He wanted me to serve.  Even after I married a pastor there was lots of refining and humbling. 


There still is - daily; but here is some of what I've learned.

• Ministry is about service - God first and people next.
• Service has to start with little things; attitudes and actions before it can be anything dreamy and big....in fact it may never be dreamy and big.
• I can't change people.
• I can't really change myself. God's job, folks.
• I need God, but more than that I love God.
• He really loves me, in fact He loved me first.
• Learning this {bullet points above} emotionally and intellectually is what changes me and puts me in the proper position to share Him with people.
• Ministry is also about Truth-telling, but not personal agenda-serving. Hate that agenda-pushing stuff in myself.
• Truth-telling works best surrounded by People-loving.
• Nothing kills Spirit-filled ministry as quickly as entitlement. Stop it.
• Entitlement is super stinky and super selfish and is often the first crack in a ministry that falls to immorality.
• I need to serve from passion, BUT....
• I most need to submit....to God and to people so that He is my passion first and then I can rightly serve my people. {I started to say "peeps" there because the no AC comment at the beginning of this post is making me feel old, but I just can't pull it off.}

As I was sitting in a service at Falls Creek last week listening to my husband preach to the thousands of students there I was dumbstruck.  By dumbstruck I mean completely struck dumb....rendered reasonless and speechless...."shake your head in wonder and knock on your forehead to try and make one iota of sense out of the situation" kind of dumbstruck.  Nothing about this life God has given me makes a bit of sense.  It is completely different than I planned and imagined.  It isn't easy and is not about me, but looking back it is so beautiful and so tenderly inclusive of me that looking forward brings a smile to my face.  I spent most of that precious sermon distracted by my bored preschooler who didn't recognize the sentimental soundtrack playing in my head. No one around me noticed that I was deeply connected to what was happening from the stage. I saw students taking notes and reacting to the amazing teaching they were hearing.  I saw a sponsor (not from our church for the record) nodding off and wanted to shake her for not listening better. I remembered walking down the aisle in almost the same exact place 25 years ago, and was so humbled. If He had given me my way I would've messed it up completely though my intentions were pure.  I have never been more aware of that truth than that dumbstruck moment.  In His faithfulness He has given me family and ministry and marriage that connects every moment to the Kingdom.  


As I submit, He uses me to serve and it matters. I am both humbled because I don't deserve this life He's given and grateful that He uses me still.  Maybe you are discouraged in a ministry that seems to be fruitless.  Maybe you are newly seeking what a lifetime of ministry will look like.  Take heart.  Cling to Jesus. Serve right where you are.....He is faithful.